Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The World on Steroids

With the holiday season(s) upon us, it has been some time since posting last. It all seems so hectic these days to have the time...or is it that the older we get, the faster time gets away from us?!
No doubt most of you have heard of or read excerpts from the Mitchell Report. The report exposes certain of our baseball heroes, past and present, to the use of steroids and HGH (human growth hormones) in order to gain an athletic advantage. Some of the players named have admitted the use of these banned substances, some have emphatically denied it. To those who deny their use, I say show patience and allow the rest of the process to unfold. All should be deemed innocent until proven guilty....that is the American way.
However.....and a big however it is.....since this is the Christmas season, what about Santa Claus and his reindeer?! Have you ever seen a real reindeer? They are shaggy looking beasts and not near as cute as all the media hype at this time of year happens to show. can these un-cute creatures pull Santa's sled and make it fly? Steroids, I say! How else can they get that high for that long, and cover the entire earth in a single night? Not being the speediest of animals, these reindeer of Santa's would have to be traveling several thousand miles per hour to get the job done. If one of our revered athletes were to show this kind of performance enhancement, they would be surely crucified by the media and be the headline topic in the next Mitchell Report!
And what about this Rudolph reindeer with his nose so bright? When was the last time you saw a nose so red, when your partner had too much to drink after the Christmas party? So is Rudolph not only on steroids, but has a drinking problem, too? That may explain why I didn't get what I wanted last year.
But as I said, we have to be tolerant and give the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty. It may be time to form our own Mitchell report, set up a committee and begin mandatory testing for these super athletes called reindeer. Let them 'do their thing into the urine cup.' Then we would know for sure.
Flying around, indeed! Steroids, I say!
Happy Holidays!!

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